Filed by: The Archive of Improbable Findings
Status: Questionable at best
A Most Peculiar Envelope
This morning, a sealed envelope was found wedged inside an old gardening glove at the bottom of Crate 47B (labelled: “Possibly Cursed / Definitely Damp”). The handwriting is undeniably Millicent’s, a scrawl, ink blots, and at least two words spelled backwards for no apparent reason.
Inside: a single yellowing page titled simply “Things I Shouldn’t Have Fed After Midnight (A Partial List)”.
Highlights include:
- A weasel with unresolved trauma
- One suspiciously round teacup
- Gregory, the screaming map
- Steven the Sprite (briefly)
We are currently working to verify the authenticity of this list, though we advise extreme caution when handling anything named Gregory.
Further updates will be published as the archive continues to catalogue the ever-expanding nonsense.
🔍 If you or someone you love begins speaking in riddles after handling this page, please alert the Society for the Preservation of Improbable Creatures immediately. Or make them a nice cup of tea. Either should help.
Faerie Guide 
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